awww. what happened to all our visitors! Brat we are back to square one. Commenting on each other's articles :(. I’m still deciding what to do for the new years. Stayed up late and got up late after such a looooooooong time. Felt nostalgic. It is just like college days :) dropped New Year’s wishes to everybody on my friends list, listening to favorite tamil, hindi and english songs. Used to do that before while working on last minute assignments...always wondered why working people said 'oh! I'm starved for time for extra stuff' I used to call them bad time managers. But now I’m party to the very same league I ridiculed. hummm...where did all that time go? A regular day starts at 5 something in the morn, workout session, getting ready for work, travel, work, travel back, eat, half hr or so o idiot box, half hour of orkuting, mail checking and crash to sleep. Sounds so uneventful to me. Anyway the last day of this year has given me a chance to leap back into old times....the prayer still stays brat!

I rarely open fwds but this one on child abuse caught my eye. A very touching poem indeed!


My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollenI cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all,
I can't do a thing wrong
Or else I'm locked up all the day long.
When I awake I'm all alone the house is dark
My folks aren't home when my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
so maybe I'll get justOne whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse,
my name he calls
I press myself against the wall
I try and hide from his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now i'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault that he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more,
I finally get free and I run for the door.
He's already locked it and I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream but its now much too late
His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate
The hurt and the pain again and again
Oh please God, have mercy! oh please let it end!
And he finally stops and heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddyMurdered me.

I've really succumbed to boredom today. Sooooooo bored. It’s been two days since I’ve been having light work. I’ve been trying to create work for myself for the past two days. Going through files, old excel sheets, updating documents, cleaning my cupboards….all done. Now what? Sitting idle is the worst torture one can go through.
I’ve bought a new phone so I had to update the address book. I tried as much as I could to drag this work today. But no! I completed it at jet speed. Went for a walk with a colleague. Tried to make it as long as possible, but then I walk fast so reached office in 20 mins. Caught up with all the news possible about retail and trademarks. Done that. Been there so many times! Finally a ray of light when I got a ‘you’ve got mail’ sign. Had to make a call and discuss about it with my boss Did that. It just took less than 15 mins. This is the problem with me, finishing a given job early. Damn good for the office, amazing persecution for me ‘caz ‘o every idle hour spent.
Prayer for the new year : GIVE ME SO MUCH WORK IN THE OFFICE THAT I AM NOT IDLE ENOUGH TO WRITE ANOTHER ARTICLE LIKE THIS!

came across an article on names. A nice read.


Guest Article: Names and synonyms
Padma ThuravilRC&MDecember 28

Last week, my almost three year old daughter didn’t respond to either pet name or her own name. Instead came the pleading request: “Please… not that. Call me Anya?”

I’m stunned into silence. What?The oh-so-innocent look on her face deepens and she reiterates gleefully: “Please call me Anya no?”There… my daughter has renamed herself and insists on us calling her by the new name. I could cry when I think of all the effort, the emotions, not to mention the dozens of baby name books in which we invested… all in vain.

That brings me to the new era of naming er… branding er… whatever…My first tryst with the new era of naming came with an agency called Crayons. Then things that were things started becoming names. The relief was that at least Crayons, as the name suggested, was into doing something with colours, never mind if it was an advertising agency. At least, it sounded good, I thought as I went back to my mundane life at this rocking ad agency.How names have changed since then! Now we have Spinach and Lemon and Tomato and Orange and the latest I saw was Vitamins!!! (A fashion clothing store for girls.)Why can’t people let vegetables and fruits be?

This naming thing has taken an exciting turn… For generations, businesses were always known by their name, or so I thought. The Batliwalas, Daruwalas, Kabadiwalas – take a bow. Then came the traders whose businesses were known by who was running it – Khurana & Sons, Ramnik Lal & Bros, and so on. Then came the trend where just like the joint family became a nuclear family and then just singles, along came names like Preeti Vyas Gianetti, Pritish Nandy Communications – the trend of individuals becoming names becoming brands.

Anybody not from the industry would get confused. Though this was quite the done thing in the US, in India, it was something new and that made us sit up and take notice till we got used to it… and we moved on…But now we have moved on to something more interesting and the movement doesn’t seem to stop here.Now good old spinach is no longer the measly ‘palak’ used to make ‘palak paneer’, it’s a retail supermarket that promises you the elusive, ever fresh vegetables and fruits. Lemon is a creative hot shop. Tomato, which my colleague always assumed was an eatery, is a trendy shopping zone.

What puzzles me is what were the owners thinking of when they thought up these names, unless, of course, they were trying to be desperately different and ran out of options.But I do know what the pubs and the latest in trendy joints were thinking of when they decided to call themselves Amnesia or Velocity or Red Light.Like they say, some names are names and some names are controversy, like the restaurant with the swastika symbol called Hitler’s Cross in the lanes of Kharghar… Poor guy – so much for inspiration.Names need to at least connote what the business is all about, but if the name is the business, or the business is the name, which would come first?

Personally, I feel very comfortable with names that tell me what to expect – Only Parathas or Dosa Diner. But then again, at a ‘dosa’ diner, I know they also offer ‘idlis’ and ‘vadas’ and ‘uthappams’. Maybe the rationale is that the batter is more or less the same. Would it not have been better then to have called it Batter Diner?Gosh! Never knew names were so difficult to rationalise and think up. Anyway, who’s thinking?

Post script: By the way, after my daughter renamed herself, I have decided not to hunt for a name for my second child. After all, what is the point?

My year in review

was reading one of those year in review articles on a news website when it suddenly struck me how much my life had changed in one year. Every year always brings in changes both expected and unexpected, but I have rarely ever given much thought to any of these. I have always been a firm believer in the adage 'life goes on' and never ever stopped to reminisce about the things that happened to me in the year.

However it really amused me to see how much I have changed over the past one year. I can remember exactly what my priorities were, things that I looked forward to, things I never gave much thought to, things that made me happy, sad, excited etc and how it has changed so quickly. Although my likes/dislikes etc have not changed all that much, what I would prefer to do has changed a lot!

For example last year around this time, things I really looked forward to doing (by order of preference) were:
1. playing tennis
.
.
.
2. eating good food or finding a new favorite restaurant/food item/cricket/hanging out with friends
3. hanging out with my sister (when she's around)
4. finding a date
5. Reading up on current affairs/browsing the net
6. working out/playing some random sport/watching movies
7. reading up on trivia
8. cooking
9. talking to my family on the phone
10. talking to friends on the phone

And now they go something like this:

1. Talking to/being with/daydreaming abt my fiancee
.
.
.
2. Talking to my family and hanging out with my sister (when she's around)
.
3. Finding new ways to save money so I can spend it later when she's around
4. playing tennis
5. working out/playing some random sport/watching movies
6. reading up on current affairs/browsing the net
7. cooking

As you can see my list has been dominated by one person. It is a little weird for me to notice how much one person has changed my perspectives and priorities in life in such a short period of time.... esp given the number of people I have met in my life.

The most amusing change everyone notices (and really tease me a lot about) though is to note how I've changed from being someone who hated talking on the telephone and rarely had much to say for more than 5 mins at a time can now talk for hours and hours about pretty much nothing to just one person. I think I must have spent more money on calling cards these past two months than I must have ever spent on my family/friends/dates/gfs... pretty much anyone in my entire life put together.

My friends I hardly bother about anymore. I do keep in touch but they hardly feature as much in my life as they used to. I feel sad sometimes that I'm drifting away as are they from me thanks to developments in their lives. But for some reason I rarely do much more than the bare minimum to do keep in touch.

I suppose life keeps changing as your grow older and you tend to have new experiences along the way every day, but there are some years that you feel that you've changed more than in others. This has been one such year for me.

A nice read about the FedEx logo

I like going shopping. 2 of my aunts and me make a good threesome for a shopping spree. Love to see what's the in thing in the market. Not that I have to buy whatever is the latest. Just that I just like to know stuff, feel and touch things that you can only dream about buying. Well with 'drive and see' schemes you can even hop into your dream car and get a free ride without worrying about money! You can even go into an air-conditioned store on a very hot day, pose as a serious buyer and leave all cooled off :) no strings attached. Oh yes you will see some very irritated faces but that’s okie. They see a 100 customers everyday. Who’s gonna remember a person returning the next year?

The store that comes under my serious shopping list is FabIndia. I love this store. I've harped so much about this store to my friends at office that they too have become FabIndiaholics. Go into the store, and I become so tempted so much so that I've stopped taking any form 'o money with me :)

I basically like wearing clothes that make you feel very comfortable and light. That’s exactly what is provided. High collared long, short and mini cotton kurtas all sans dupattas (man i really hate it) with block print/ hand embroidery. Their clothes give you a nice chic look. FabIndia better give me my cut 'cause no one I’ve sent there left without making a minimum purchase of 1000 :) hurrah to me!

One drawback was that they had very few outlets in India. With the retail boom catching up, you'll soon see a lot many of these stores. Who knows one many open in your city too! cross your fingers!

Saw Kabul Express a couple 'o days back. I really liked it. My kinda movie, definetly. Man what has happened to hindi cinema. I'm amazed at the kind 'o movies they are churning out. Change for the better! Normally good movies are runied by the forced song sequences. Kabul Express was spared of this torture. I wouldn't call it a heart wrenching story but, somehow it appeals to you. There was a high level of consistency in location & wardrobe. Arshad Warsi got the best lines and ye was the fun attraction. There are many subtle messages given yet Kabul Express doesn't become preachy. This movie somehow reminded me of a photograph i saw some years back at a radhi shop. There are times when you see something and it just stays on in some corner of your mind just to resurface later. I'm sure a lot many people have seen it. That gaze. It makes you shiver and yet makes you look at it over and over again.

Rants

Sorry for not posting the masti post I have been promising.... having a terrible week. I know it's not terrible as in something bad is happening.. but it's just one of those times when you feel that nothing is going right and things seem real crappy. However I have found out that:

First of all ... and most importantly - Long distance relationships SUCK! Esp if you are not in the same time zone.

Never take Nyquil instead of Dayquil during the day. It really screws your day up (not to mention your driving).

Time goes very slowly when you're bored. In fact it freaking crawls. Every second feels like it's a hour.

Don't ever try to argue with someone with a migrain. It really messes your day/night up!

Oh and long distance relationships SUCK!

:(

I hope this week passes quickly. Definitely one of my worst weeks ever!

Hunkification of Bharath Hemachandran - Part III

Sorry about the short post but this has been a bad week for Bharath Hemachandran's dreams to achieve hunkification status. He has had to sit up late studying and due to this his daily gym routine and eating schedule has suffered disastrous consequences.

But the never say die attitude shall return very soon (hopefully on sunday after his singles match). Nonetheless here's hoping that all the studying pays off and he passes his exams with flying colors!

See you guys the other side of this weekend!

Writing styles - Mills & Boons

Every writer has a style. The style that I have always found very entertaining (albeit in small doses) is the one used by the authors of that fascinating genre of books under the infamous M&B banner.

I suppose if you throw in a bunch of overdressed overactors, with overly sentimental, loud and over the top music you get a soap in any televised language.

Getting back to the books... and their writing style, M&B books are so much fun to read. A sure shot cure for any bout of depression or day when you're down. I mean just see how much more interesting life is through a M&B scenario! Unfortunately a guy has to read a bunch of stuff about the heros of the stories who are always unimaginably handsome and feel inadequate about themselves... but nonetheless hope is restored as the descriptions of the unimaginably beautiful heroine ensue.

Take a normal nursery rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after

M&B style:

(First some background on our characters - Jill is a spoilt brat socialite and Jack is the poor cowboy who works on the ranch owned by Jill's father)

Jack's pounding heart raced as he followed the love of his life Jill through forest and over seas. His muscles rippled in anticipation of climbing the hill that loomed in the distance. Although he loved Jill and her heaving bosom with all his soul questions raced through his sandy hair covered head as his mane blew in the breeze like straws in the wind.

Why did she need to quench her thirst with water only from this gosh darned hill. It was so steep! Why was it so steep? Was she wearing a sports bra today? Her bosom didn't seem to be heaving as much...

Jill twinkling blue eyes sparkled as she thought about how much she was making Jack race after her. Good I'm wearing a sports bra tonight she thought as her delicate, porcelain features twisted into a smile that would have made the clouds weep in appreciation. Jill was enjoying making Jack run after her. After all someone with her beauty deserved a little bit of fun. Even though Jack was very good looking (the blah blahs ... i usually started skipping over the male descriptions from here on until the author started on the female again), but was he the one to get her water from the well everyday?

(ok getting a little tired here... so going into fast forward mode)

Little by little, day by day, Jack and Jill got closer to their destiny of drinking water from the well. Jack's muscles rippled a lot in the meantime as his green eyes haunt Jill and her heaving bosoms and delicate and porcelain beauty with a liberal sprinkling of curvaceous figure and attitude threaten to destroy Jack. Despite their deepest desires of getting some water on the well they after much drama sleep with each other.... and then on the way down fall and break their heads.

(Sorry got work to do and have to go to the gym for my own set of rippling muscles... so had to end the last 3 lines quickly. If you would really like me to expand the story please leave me a comment and I will do so in an update)

Well as you can see M&B is fun. It has something for both guys and girls. Isn't writing in someone else's mode of writing more fun? Ideas and suggestions for any more styles?

Hunkification of Bharath Hemachandran - Part II

Hunkification is an arduous process. It is not for those weak at heart nor for those looking for something of a hobby to do. You need to use both mind and well... mind to trick the hunk within to surface. But the hunk is cunning as well. He will throw obstacles at every turn along the way willing you to leave him alone, but should you give in to the temptation of giving up and letting him be?

Well that would depend on you I suppose... No real answer to this question. Very subjective.

Oh well back to the topic at hand. Did I mention it was an arduous process? Running out of things to write here. :(

Oh yeah I can write about the obstacles that could come up.

Obstacle #1 - Odious emmitonius

The hidden hunk uses this funky latin sounding weapon to devastating effect (both for you and anyone around). While you are concentrating on ridding yourself of the copious padding that cakes your rectus abdominus, suddenly out of nowhere comes this unexpected caveat. The hunk invokes the odious emmintonius releasing the dreaded silent (well loud if you are unfortunate - make sure u are in a crowd then so you can look at someone else and shake your head pitifully) killer killing your mood to lure him out that way anymore. You are forced to cease and desist to pin the blame on someone else, or, well prevent further repercussions for your own well being.

Obstacle #2 - SharpSenseOfFoodSmellonius

Suddenly while you have been good for a few days avoiding anything that can derail your excellent sense of nutrition, you find that your sense of smell increases tenfold. Suddenly you can actually smell the delicious double chocolate chip cookie that someone in a different part of the building is eating. This is followed by your sense of smell pulling in other delicious smells such as butter popcorn being made in the break room, fries being prepared in the canteen downstairs, pizza baked in the store across the road .... This smorgasbord of delicious food smells causes your tastebuds to tingle, leading to much mental dilhelmas about trying to track it down and satisfy that craving that is created by the hunk. Ah the mind games can be quite terrible indeed! A recommends remedy for this is Empty Walletus, which however can be trouble if your car runs out of gas and you need to fill it up.

Stayed tuned for further updates

Ramblings

Went to Chinar the Indian Restaurant in dt Charleston on Sunday with our Pictionary group as Sandeep and Priyanka were bidding Charleston farewell. Unknown to us Charleston county had scheduled their annual Christmas parade which seemed a little weird considering that there are 3 weeks to go for Christmas.

Nonetheless there was a small crowd collected along the parade route as pickup trucks (often bigger than the floats themselves) dragged hastily assembled floats down King Street towards the Battery.

I guess the best part was this dog dressed up as a rastafarian. Pretty cute. Oh and a before pic of me for those of you who wanted one. As you can see can do without the chubby cheeks.

Thanks to Dhaval who took most of these photos (except for the really nice ones that were taken by moi and Bhadri for uploading them after much persuasion)

Hunkification of Bharath Hemachandran - Part I

Approximately 120 hrs ago, as he gorged on his 7th slice of bread with the aloo matter that he had prepared Bharath realized that he only had a couple of months before his wedding. A wedding in which he was going to be photographed from almost every angle whether he liked it or not. Now it's not that he was a complete slob, but there were surely a couple of well padded areas that would unfortunately be exposed to even the not so careful observer. Anyone blind enough to miss it the first time around would of course gather it during the perusal of the copious photos that were bound to result from the various ceremonies.

Even worse Mr. Hemachandran was one of those unfortunate few that cannot sit cross-legged.

The inevitability of having to show his wedding photos and vidoes to the junta sprung him into action. First stop, the thrash can.... to dispose of the half eaten 7th slice of bread and remaining slices of bread. Then sighing he thrashed the delicious aloo matter as well.

Then he consults various body building sites for good workout programs and comes up with one that would awaken the hidden hunk within. Next a search for a suitable nutrition program that would lure the protesting, badly fed hunk to the surface.

120 hrs hence, after having followed the workout routine to the T (not so much the nutrition routine) and endured many jibes, and much leg-pulling with a severe ab-burn, feels that yes... the hunk inside is protesting a lot to emerge. After all the hunk must be suffering a severe case of prisoner's complex having been trapped inside for all these years... 16 to be exact (apparently I was quite popular with the ladies until i became old enough to reciprocate their interest)

So here's to a good start.

Updates on the hunkification process to follow. Stay tuned.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Bored of your run o' the mill carols you have at home or listen to on the radio? I've always listened to carols growing up and used to sing for many choirs as a kid for my schools. However now, hearing the same ol' carols gets to me.

And then I found these renditions by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. They are amazing! Apparently they've been around for a bit, but I never knew their songs were this good! They really rock (pun intended) :D.

Check out Sarajevo courtesy of youtube



They have many others on youtube as well. Others I was able to find on youtube were Wizards of Winter, Faith Noel, Christmas Cannon Rock, Queen of the Winter Night, Good King Joy, An Angels' share and many more.

I am def going to their concert if they happen to play in Charleston.

And so it begins

I have exactly 62 days before I head to India again. I have an impressive number of things to get done before then, but all that I feel is going to play second fiddle to the most important of all.
My 60 day exercise routine.

Now I have always been in decent shape and have no trouble running ~ 4-5 miles, but I've had one big problem... I've always been a little on the chubby side. But all that ends here and now. I figured out a nifty exercise routine and am going to follow it even though it scares the heck out of me! :(

The scary part is the diet I am supposed to follow during that time. Oh well I suppose it will be worth it if I can get those pacs in the abs and be less chubby. So anyways... Here's a before pic of me that I took recently prior to the workout. I will be weighing myself everyday and recording my body fat % etc in a log that I will publish at the end of the 60 days.

For those of you interested here is what my routine is going to be like. It's a 6 day routine where I will be concentrating on one set of muscle groups every alternate day. Since tennis season only starts in Feb again, I can really start pushing myself.

Day 1 - Chest
5 mins light running
4 sets Bench
4 sets Incline
4 sets Decline
4 sets Flys

Day 2 - Shoulder + ab workout 1
5 mins light running
4 sets seated shoulder press
4 sets front raise and reverse flyes
4 sets shrugs/low pulley raise

5 sets of 20 reps on the ab machine
3 sets of crunches (25 reps ea)/hanging leg raises(10 ea - hope to reach 20 by the end of 60 days)
4/5 sets of back extensions

Day 3 - Cardio + ab workout 2
35 mins running/elliptical
5-10 min seated rowing

5 sets of 20 reps on the ab machine
3 sets of crunches

5 mins of cool down running

Day 4 - Back + biceps
5 mins of rowing
4 sets of Lat pull downs
4 sets of pullovers
4 sets of resistance seated row

3 sets of arm curls
3 sets of triceps/biceps curls

5 sets of back extensions

Day 5 - Cardio
I should have tennis practice/ultimate frisbee or some other sport to keep me occupied for one day. Also brings some variation into my routine

Day 6 - Cardio + ab workout 3
10 mins of running
15 mins elliptical

5 sets of 20 reps on the ab machine
3 sets of crunches (25 reps ea)/hanging leg raises(10 ea - hope to reach 20 by the end of 60 days)
4/5 sets of back extensions

Day 7 - Rest

The routine above is going to need some discipline to follow, but I've done 2 days now and I suppose I've got enough motivation to complete the rest.

The scary part is going to be the diet :(. No more goodies. I suppose I've snacked enough. But anyways my diet is going to have to be more day centric. I need to eat a big breakfast, smallish lunch and just have something very light yet filling for dinner.

I hope I can get past the initial inertia. If I do then I should be all good. The first month is going to be hell though. Oh well!

So how was your Thanksgiving?

Was the most popular question that was being asked around the office today. Generally I just shrug and say in a non-commital tone that it was ok. Of course I always enjoy shopping on Black Friday and am always glad that I can get a couple of extra holidays.

This year however was awesome. In fact it has been a few years since I enjoyed my thanksgiving so much! In fact it was so good that I wish it could have gone on and on and on! I ate so much and enjoyed myself so much that I skipped two meals since I got back from my holiday. In fact my stomach still feels a little full from all that I ate last week.

I visited my in-laws' house and they were everything that you wish they were and nothing they shouldn't! Being with them was just like hanging out with some of my college friends. I really miss just hanging out with friends nowadays. Everyone has gotten so absorbed into their own lives that it is difficult to re-connect with anyone with more than a phone call!

Gone are the days when I would stay awake through the nights chatting with friends, playing cricket or even kabaddi with friends who would drop everything at the drop of a hat. Sigh! I miss my college days so much! I suppose a part of me is sad that I will never ever live like that again. However a part of me is overjoyed that I was able to experience times like those that I will be able to remember all through life.

Just about a year back I was nothing more than a new grad with nothing to worry about in life. In fact life had become a little mechanical since I graduated. This year things have happened so quickly that I find it a little hard to comprehend all the changes! Still I suppose as they say C'est la vie! Time to move on and celebrate the present and the future and retire the past.

So cheers to the good times and here's hoping for many more.

Being absent-minded

Sunshine's post about being absent minded reminded me about something that happened to me a while back :).

I was sitting in my cube the other day just minding my own business when a cabinet was moved into my cube. Since I am currently without a cube-mate and my dept was switching some things around, they had kept it in my cube.

Someone came to use the cabinet and I heard a beeping sound just as she opened a drawer and then again just as she closed it. And a third one just as she opened another drawer and another just as she closed. I thought it was very strange that we had such a high-tech cabinet and wondered what could be stored in there. Every time she was either opening or closing the cabinet there was a beep.

I watched for around 3-4 mins trying to see if I could figure out what kind of cabinet this was! Now this cabinet looks like one of the safes that you find in a bank. Very compact and solid.

I said to her, "Wow that is one amazing cabinet we have here! What do we store in there?" She looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "It's just a cabinet.'

I say, "Yeah. But it's a pretty hi-tech cabinet isn't it?"

Her: "Is it? It's just a cabinet you know. Why do you think it's high tech?"

Me: "Well it beeps and stuff when you open the drawers."

Her (amazed): "Really? I've never heard it beep!"

Me: "No really! Try it!"

She did and there was no sound! Now I didn't want to look stupid so I went up to the cabinet and crawled all around trying to find that led or some other indicator that would make it beep. But she seemed to be right.

It was just an ordinary cabinet.

She thought I was just funning with her and walked out still a bit puzzled...

Then I turn around and my computer was off! I looked down and saw that my UPS was down as well. Apparently the sound was being made by my UPS as a warning for my kicking out the power cord by mistake. The beeps were sounds made due to the UPS running out of charge powering my machine off.

11 weeks to go!

For the marriage I mean. I really am looking forward to it I suppose. Never figured that my temple architecture trip to India would turn into a getting engaged to a budding architecture major. Anyways weirder things have happened I suppose. Just goes to show what a girl I've become. I always thought it was the guys who were supposed to be the nonchalant ones in the relationship, having as much fun as they could before the marriage while their significant other pined away for em.... Just goes to show how the times have changed ;)

Anyways had an interesting weekend - or Saturday I suppose. Watched the new Bond movie... which was very interesting. As far as I am concerned the jury is still out on what I thought about it. I still can't make up my mind! I liked the fact that it was not a typical Bond movie... but also did not like it because of the same reason! It was a little too sappy for a Bond movie, while on the other hand the violence was gloriously realistic and hard hitting (again not Bond like).

Nonetheless it is definitely worth a watch. Then I had a bout of college football with my friend Amit. I was surprised for a second about how much I accepted saturday evening football. I remember 8 yrs back when I first came to the US, I solemnly vowed that I would never like this crappy American wannabe Rugby. But now I like it miles more than Rugby - in fact I've forgotten the rules of Rugby! So anyways the much touted Michigan-Ohio State game was very boring... I thought OSU had wrapped up the game in the 3rd quarter, and Michigan was basically just playing catch up to 'em. Was surprised to hear today in the news that this game is being heralded as one of the best ever games between the two teams! Wow. These guys must have had some boring games!

Today was a very boring day. Slept in much of the day, had a match tonight, won that easily and broke my roomie's racket strings as well. That's the third racket in 3 days that I've disabled :(... Now I have no rackets left and a match to play tomorrow as well. Oh well, I suppose I will have to borrow a teammate's racket and hope I don't break the strings on that as well. Really regret breaking one of my rackets last week. Could have at least used that :(. Had just changed the strings on that, but broke the frame in a fit of anger.

Oh well, at least I'm a week closer to seeing my parents, relatives and of course Swathy again. So even though tomorrow is a Monday, at least there is a silver lining in there. Here's to 11 more quick weeks!

Ramblings

I realized something this weekend as I lay prostrate on my couch watching the World's Funniest TV Commercials. I've changed a lot. Especially over the past couple of months. There used to be a time when a weekend like this would have been one that I would have looked forward to with great enthutiasm. I mean there's a brand new James Bond movie releasing today (with fantastic reviews); I have my supply of tennis for the weekend; I will be meeting my sister after 8 long months for thanksgiving in a few days.... but somehow the joy of these things seems so mundane - which is probably why I was lying prostrate on my couch watching the World's Funniest TV Commercials.

I mean on a normal day even this would have been something that was worth talking about. I mean come on... some of these commercials were awesome! There were the exquisitely funny and inventive ads, the gross but hilarious commercials, the cute and cuddly spots.... stuff that you would laugh to and go to sleep feeling all better.

However I've discovered that there is no hope for me now. For some reason unless I get to talk to this girl who lives in Bangalore, life seems bereft of any enjoyment. I find it vaguely amusing that someone whose cellphone bills rarely exceeded 10 dollars worth of actual talk time a month can actually spend more than a 150 in a few weeks.

It's not that I don't have things to do. I am busier than ever nowadays! I play tennis almost every day for a couple of hours, I am very busy at work, I have a couple of certification exams to study for (which I haven't started btw), in addition to the usual chores I have to do around the house and in my life. ... and yet I find myself moping around feeling maudlin and lonely - something that I have never felt in my life before. Sure I've had the bouts of homesickness and the occasional "noone loves me" phases, but I've been able to shake them with nothing more serious than a delicious homemade banana milk shake or a super workout at the gym.

Maybe it's coz every moment that I spend without this girl seems like a moment wasted to me. When I talk to her it feels so great! Not sure how one person has become such a huge factor of my life in so little time, and how they seem to command so much even in absentia, but when I talk to her, laugh with her, argue with her, life seems so complete. Not sure why I am feeling what I am feeling though I know there are many who would give up a lot to be in my position in both life and career wise.

Not sure about anything anymore .... other than the fact that I really miss my Swathy :(

Women are from Venus, Men are just devious

Every now and again ... I read something that I would actually dare to forward to my friends. The joke that OT from Cricforum received as a forward below would happen to be one of them.

ROFL


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled " WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Ramblings

I had a very late night yesterday chatting with Swathy and her cousins. So sleepy!

Yet I have to wake myself up properly and go play a tournament.

Thank god I only have a doubles match today. Worst part is that it's just a couple of degrees above 0 degrees right now. It always looks so weird when it's freezing and the sun is shining full blast.

O well. Time to go brush my teeth and have a bath. Then off to the Pine Forest courts to try and get my trophy count upto 3 for the year. Ho hum.... so sleepy!

Still have to start studying for my certification exams that are just around the corner. Somehow the knowledge of this fact hasn't goaded me into hitting the books at all.... Just feel sooooo sleepy!

I found an old article I had written for my uni's newspaper once. A match report for our cricket tournament. Can't seem to find the remaining of the series :( Still awesome memories rekindled by this one here.

Jingalalahoodihoo

Bharath Hemachandran
Guest Writer

The sun was shining, the birds (well crickets… no birds around Sunset Trace) were singing when the players of Jinga-lala-hoo and Hoodibaba woke up early in the morning in preparation for their first intramural match.

Everyone was all set for one of the big intramural games this semester. Things seemed to be going perfectly! The weather seemed to defy Weather.com, the reference point for all intramural games (from this point henceforth). Weather.com had predicted thunderstorms throughout the day, and yet the current state of atmosphere seemed to have dealt a knockout
punch to the web-site’s gloomy predictions. The captains had their team talks with their respective players to ensure that all their players turned up for the match. Hoodibaba’s captain even had the nerve to map out a strategy for the game with his vice-captain, and the
captain of Jinga-lala-hoo was actually up by ten in the morning!

The rains literally poured lots and lots of cold water on the plans via a cloudburst that lasted exactly 10 minutes and 50 seconds. Despondent were the captains and players of the respective
teams over the prospect of there not being a match up, but give up they did not.
On closer inspection of the pitch (which is supposed to be even), it was concluded that they would be better off playing on the crater-filled surface of the moon. However, again the enthusiasm of the players and the prospect of an open revolt resulted in hasty decision being made to actually manage on this pitch. And so, the game was about to begin, with everything
in order, with the bowler ready to start the game, and with the batsmen, umpires and fielders looking keen to begin.

Alas! It was not to be. The Florida weather gods figured that we were too eager to play and decided that they should break the whole thing up with a neat display of lightning accompanied
by lots of rain. So, beaten and very wet, the captains and umpires could come to only one conclusion:
the match had to be abandoned and the points split. Stay tuned for more match reports on this exciting and funfilled ICO Champions Cricket Trophy.

A fun Diwali

I had the best Diwali I've had in about 12 years. Usually Diwalis in the US consist of waking up in the middle of the afternoon, finding out about the day being Diwali from other people wishing you, getting dressed in the night and go and have some food with a few friends at some lame function.

However this year was different. I really had a blast this year. Woke in the morning and tried caling everyone on my phonebook list to wish them a happy diwali. Unfortunately most people seemed to be busy doing the same or hadn't woken up as yet. So well I talked to a bunch of voicemail programs expressing my wishes or hastily cut the line after wishing the sleepy uns a happy diwali. No point in drawing curses for waking ppl up y'know.

Well anyways I had more food that I can care to name, burst firecrackers after 12 years, breathed in the smoke from the firecrackers that reminded me of being stuck in an auto on the roads of Bangalore, oh and did I mention all the food???

Finding the malfunction in YOU - Secrets to a more successful and famous life

Forget what you have been told by every person who felt qualified to give you advice. Nurturing your true talents have nothing to do with how successful you become in life. The true path to fame and fortune lies in finding which of your talents you can cause to malfunction in life. What I am trying to say is take your best talent (even a mediocre talent will do just fine), cause it to malfunction and you will find yourself in a whole other plane of success, fame, and fortune.

I have performed exhaustive research into this intriguing hypothesis and am giving you enviable people the prologue to my ground breaking novel.

Finding the malfunction in YOU - Secrets to a more successful and famous life

Let me start with the most obvious type of malfunction. That caused by mistreated accessories, and articles of clothing that go on strike when needed most..... Or is it all a highly calculated strategy employed by people that are indeed smarter than they look?

Ever since Janet Jackson's strap decided to "malfunction" in front of millions of people, we have seen so many different clothes deciding to make a statement for themselves by going on strike. Coincidentally it only happens during major public events and to little known/struggling actresses desperate for some publicity. Nonetheless look at what it has done for their careers.

Those poor hot bods confined within clothing that was at least one size too small to be called clothing, rightly celebrated their right to freedom by conspiring with their captors and causing them to strike. Sure we got the baleful smiles accompanied by the "OH MY GOD!"s and "HOLY !"s, but what was the end result? It meant that despite the clothes wanting to prove a point for themselves the actresses' celebrating hot bods ensured they got the fillip their careers desperately needed.

Being the researcher that I am conducting exhaustive studies on these malfunctions and sparing no photograph covering these incidents, I have concluded that having malfunctions are a good thing. In fact I have even noticed that it is not just the wardrobe variety that can lead a person to fame, fortune and success.

Take the wildly successful rise to success of the multi-talented man Himesh Reshammiya. In an industry where singing success was measured against the yardsticks of the Rafis and Kishore Kumars, this man has defied all logical odds to eclipse each and every one of these singers.

What is the secret behind his success you may wonder? Well wonder no more. The secret is his malfunctioning voice. There are people who have been thrown out of music classes or offered consolation prizes for horrible singing before, but this musical genius has cunningly synergyized his wildly malfunctioning voice with his hyperactive nasal passages to give us music that has wowed his audiences.

It is not the quality of his songs as much as the fascination associated with this synergy that has dumbfounded his critics and captivated his fans. Himesh has had such a profound impact that even elevators that previously announced floors with a crisp beep have been reprogrammed to beep with a heavy nasal intonation.

Now can Rafi with his perfect voice ever claim to have influenced the mechanical world in such a manner?

Even his malfunctioning face and body have inspired enough people to thrust him into the role of a film hero as detailed by this article.

So my friends, all is not lost. Do not despair. You still have time to find that one talent of yours and cause it to malfunction. Who knows where your malfunctioning talent will take you?

I have seen glimpses of my true path to fame and fortune coming from my mediocre writing. I am still pondering on how exactly I can make it malfunction to reap the kind of success the subjects of my studies have. But I have already set on the path to success. Isn't it time you do the same???

Pic of Swathy and me taken on our engagement day

Confusion abounds

Reams have been written about how two people completely disconnected from each other suddenly happen to meet one fine day and things change for them..... fast. As a guy I strictly kept away from these candy floss stories about a guy and a girl meeting and then suddenly accompanied by many more strangers they run around trees and bushes, scale unnecessary heights and find the most beautiful fields that one could ever hope to find by chance to express their love for each other.

All this is very farcical - until it happens to you. Ok fine I never did the chasing in the presence of the flora and fauna, nor did I scale any heights, nor come across any beautiful fields.... but what I did come across would be cause for the authors of this genre to lick their lips in appreciation of a good story.

Enter the protagonists.... A boy who had just gotten used to living by himself whose only loves in life was his tennis, work, parents and house. A girl who was single-mindedly focused on completing her architecture degree and partying with her friends as much as was possible in infrastructurally challenged Bangalore, and, the parents who were spending much of their time online; sifting through horoscopes of potential grooms and brides for their wards.
Now it's not that the neither boy nor girl had anything against their parents doing the whole matchmaking thing. It was only that the two of them expected the entire process to take at least a couple of years for anything to happen. Both expected to be introduced to potential matches soon, but then they had both expected to say a firm no to anyone that had the misfortune to meet them.

So the boy goes back to traffic challenged B'lore after a looooooooooooooooong time all charged up to make visits to some old temples he had seen on a discovery channel show. After all who knew when he would have the time to do such things again? After taking the first couple of days to get over the mind-numbing jetlag he is asked to dress up for the evening. Further enquiries result in him being told that someone interested in me as a potential groom was paying us a visit. Smirking the boy dresses up pitying the parents. The potential in-laws pay a visit and confuse the boy. Apparently they liked their potential in-laws a lot (the boy's parents). He thought they had come to see him.... instead they seemed more interested in knowing about his parents.

Nonetheless another rendezvous is made where the boy gets to talk to the girl. The very confused potential groom pays a visit at the assigned time and location in the company of his parents where he talks to the girl. And talk they did.... for about 4 hrs continuously. Now the boy is very, very confused. He had come to politely decline the interest being shown in him and yet here he was talking to this immensely likable girl who seemed to share a lot of common interests which included a desire to go skydiving and loving insane roller coasters.
Nonetheless... deciding to play it safe the boy and girl (much to the disappointment of their parents) decide to ask for another week to make up their minds. So a third rendezvous is decided on, and this time around the very confused girl (who went through similar emotions to the boy until now) pays a visit to the confused boy's house.

Suddenly all the confusion disappears and both boy and girl decide that they can't do without each other and that they should get married. There was no confetti, no dancing angels, no harps and violins (or veenas and tamburas for the Indian version).... only a distinct feeling of completeness for both boy and girl.

Over the next two weeks the formerly confused boy and girl discover that they had wasted a whole week trying to decide whether they actually liked each other, and proceeded to make the Airtel phone company, assorted restaurateurs in Bangalore, and, taxi companies bless their impending union courtesy of the windfall that was put their way.

However all good things must come to an end. So the boy departs to his abode after a whirlwind engagement with a heavy heart knowing that it will be a few months before he can see the girl again.

The boy and girl are getting married in Feb 2007 and are hoping that the rest of their lives can be even one half as exciting and amazing as the past two weeks have been for the two of them.

A Bon Voyage - Part 1

Sorry for the long break ppl... but it's been quite crazy over here. I have too many things to write about so I figured I'd start with the trip.

I had a very eventful trip to India this time around. Wasn't all fun, but it did make it one to remember nonetheless.

I have always had a knack for packing. In fact ever since I was 17 I have discovered a method to pack one and a half times a normal person. So added to that my knack for procrastination as well, I kept my packing for the last few hours before my flight. It was an early morning flight. I was supposed to be out of the house by around 5 in the morning to meet the 2 hr buffer that is generally required for International flights. Being the night out champ back in college, I figured what the heck, may as well stay up until around 2 and then start packing. So I browsed the web, listening to songs, and generally killing time until around 1 in the morning... Then for some reason I felt really sleepy! So I figured what the hey.... may as well catch a few Zs and wake up all refreshed for the flight.

Unfortunately I forgot to set the alarm clock! So I was blisfully sleeping until my house-mate who was supposed to drop me off at the airport came stumbling up the stairs to see if I was ready to leave. I can't remember exactly what happened next. I remember running around a lot, jumping up and down trying to remember where my suitcases were (they were in the garage)... and then cramming everything into a suitcase. Unfortunately not everything would fit in one suitcase, so I had to pack everything into 2 suitcases.

Anyways all's well that ends well and I was able to get out of the house at 5:30. Got checked in suprisingly quickly given that it was an international flight and went inside to board the flight. Sleep came to me in tidal waves as soon as my butt touched the seat. I can't remember exactly how I boarded the flight. Given that I had a seat to myself it was all well and good. I slept the entire way to Dallas without stirring an inch!

Anyways when I reached Dallas I had a few hours to kill. I was up now and needed something to do. So I figured let me go to the gym a while. I had brought some workout clothes after all, and the airportgyms.com site said that the nearest gym was only a ten minute ride. So I get out of the airport, catch a taxi and started speaking in my broken spanish to the driver.... only to discover that he didn't know any Spanish :(. I always like to impress ppl with my Spanish and then nonchalantly tell them that I was from India and no I did not stay in Honduras for very long and yes I was very smart to pick up so much Spanish so quickly. With the poor guy not understanding any Spanish (nor English) we commincated using my version of sign language, much to the amazement of some bystanders on the road.

An unfortunate side-effect was getting lost before finally stumbling and bumbling our way to the gym. The rogue cost me $35 just to get there though. Anyways I figured since I was already there, may as well work out properly. So I had a wonderful workout in my work shoes (I found out that I had forgotten to pack my workout shoes) drawing a lot of strange looks as soon as people happened to glance at my feet. I suppose they supposed that I was one of those crazy freaks that just happen to crawl out of the woodwork. Wasn't able to run so I used to sauna for a while just to sweat a little. I fell asleep in the sauna (It was so nice in there) and luckily someone woke me up before I dehydrated away into oblivion. I rushed into the shower drinking as much water as
I was using to clean myself, jumped into my clothes and then caught a taxi back to the airport.

It was then I discovered that even going back to the airport was a pain! It cost me just as much to get into the airport as it did to get out. Damn taxi drivers in Dallas really know how to squeeze your wallet dry as well. You can't haggle over the price either so well couldn't really do much about the sneaking suspicion I had that I had been nicely cheated out of $10.

Went into the airport and ate at a Taco Bell because I figured at least I could minimize the damage with some cheap food. I was schoked to find out what normally cost a couple of dollars outside the airport cost 4 times as much in it. I was too hungry to not eat, so I just kept cursing the swindlers between mouthfuls of my burritos. May their dollars wilt and catch the umm... fungus I guess.

The flight to Chicago was just as uneventful as the previous one. I had successfuly tired myself out enough to sleep the entire 2 hrs into Chicago.

to be contd.

Ramblings

Today was in essence a bad day. It started out with a flat tire, India losing like wimps to the Windies in cricket, a really boring day at the office where I couldn't seem to get anything done, and of course no time for a workout.

I always feel a little cranky when I don't manage to sweat a bit. An unfortunate side-effect results in my being too hyperactive to do anything worthwhile.

Although I cannot wait to get to India... wait I will have to. Oh how I wish we had those teleporters that could get us from one corner of the globe to another in the blink of an eye! I shouldn't be complaining too much I suppose. This trip is not going to be as bad as some of my other trips back home.

I only have 2 stopovers to make; neither longer than 4 hrs each. Although the wait between flights will be a little on the boring side, I have some opportunities to do something more than visit all the restrooms and shops in each terminal.

I found this awesome site called airportgyms.com which lists all the gyms around the airports that I can go to before my next flight. Since my layover at Dallas is going to be a little on the longer side, I figured I could just as well do something healthy and spend a few dollars to workout a little.

After all I have to be cramped up on the plane for long enough... so why not tire myself out completely and ensure that I get some shut eye on the next couple of flights. Unfortunately none of the movies that American Airlines is going to air during my 15 hr flight to Delhi seem to be any good. And with my luck in travelling companions, I'll either be sitting next to a lady with a crying baby, or an old person looking to get drunk on the complimentary alcoholic beverages.

The good thing is that I have a work laptop this time around, so I will be able to download some e-books onto my computer for my reading pleasure. Unfortunately I'm sure my eyes will go on strike if I read too much. So workout it is.

I have a few hours left before I actually catch my flight... so any hints on what I can do during the long flights?

And so it begins!

When I woke up the calendar stated that it was the 14th. The day before my date with an American Airlines flight that would take me to my beloved country.

It has been 4 long since I've last visited India. I've done so many things since then! I've graduated from university. I've got a couple of Master's degrees. I've started working, bought a car, a house and yet I feel like a kid again.

The same kid that seems to awaken within me everytime something momentous is about to happen. The kid in me that refuses to go away. The excitable little un that keeps reminding me that no matter how old I grow, I will always have a little part of me that will always be excited, joyous, wonderous of everything. One that will keep me company when all around me starts to look tired and jaded.

I'm not really sure why this trip feels so momentous. It just does.

So India ... here I come!

You'll be an Agassi, my son!

Superstar, Loser, Pariah, Average Joe, Hero, Legend ... he donned 'em all.

When he first burst onto the international tennis scene people hated him. In fact it was quite fashionable to hate the man who claimed that "Image is everything". A man who heralded himself to be bigger than the game and all it stood for. A man who defied convention for nothing more than win popularity with his showmanship.

And yet 21 years hence when he decided to lay his racket to rest people couldn't stop their eyes from becoming moist with tears. Grown men sobbed without abandon and the same people who wished him ill-will, uttered heartfelt prayers willing him to beat his opponents.

The world has superstars aplenty. They come and they go - each hogging their few years of fame and adulation; only to be relegated into the annals of anonymity by time. Agassi seemed to have it all. Hero worshipping groupies, fame, public adulation, money.... He was seen at the right places with the right type of people. He dated a woman that most men would have happily given up their left arm to be seen with, let alone go steady with. And yet he plummeted into the depths of failure. His failure in love transformed him into a loser. A man who crashed and burned like so many others before him did and will in the future.

He did not matter anymore. Bereft of his skills on the tennis court he was cast aside like an old glove - his magnificent achievements no more than mere statistics for trivia buffs to recall. When the high and mighty fall there is a certain satisfaction that everyone receives on seeing them fall. They say you make many enemies on your way to the top and Agassi met each and everyone on his way down. The papparazzi took great joy in dissecting his broken heart with up to the minute pictures of his freefalling ATP rankings, his drinking binges, and, bulging waist line. Men who would have waited in a line for days for his autograph were taking him to the cleaners in tennis matches.

Then suddenly he was making the news again. Agassi was back. He had shed his famous flowing locks for a bald look. People laughed at this portly bald man who was attempting to make a name for himself again. Others doubted him. After all what was he other than a fallen superstar? How many more self-destructing ex-famous people did the world really need? And yet, he did not give up.

The man fought against all the odds to reclaim his rightful place among the best in the tennis world. Everybody had something that they identified in him - something that everyone knew about - failure. And yet he was so much more than just a mere mortal! Humble in his losses and even more so with his victories. No more did he claim that "Image is everything".

Soon he was among the elite again. But Agassi had changed. No more was he just a superstar. He was someone who laughed in the face of adversity and yet fought valiantly to overcome. A Hero!

Despite the adulation he merited with his famous performances, he stayed right here - his feet firmly on the ground, head bowed in appreciation for his support. In his final interview; almost a religious experience for me as a viewer, I almost cried when I heard him quote:

"The scoreboard says I lost today, but what scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found. Over the last 21 years I have found loyalty; you have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I have found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed, sometimes even in my lowest moments. And I have found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams; dreams I could never have reached without you. Over the the last 21 years I have found you and I will take you and the memory of you with me for the rest of my life."

After all - how many people can claim to have received a standing ovation not only from his peers, and, his fans; but a nation that only loves winners?

Rudyard Kipling may well have ended his poem differently had he written it last week.


© Getty Images

My Pre-Tennis game ritual

This one's an oldie - couldn't think of anything funny of late and figured this blog needed some humor after a long line of serious senti stuff. If you have read this pls skip down and read the fabulous article Rams wrote about the Siddivinayak temple.

John: "Hey Guys. This is Bart. He will be playing #2 singles tonight"
Craig: "Hey Bart, I'm Craig"
Bob: "Bob"
Me (being stupid): "Hey guys. Pleased to meet you. I'm Bharath"
Jack: "Baaraaat?"
Me: "No Bharath"
Craig: "Burut?"
Me: "No Bharath"
Bob: "Please don't take offence Bart. I'm just trying to pronounce your name properly."
Me: "No really! It's fine. I understand. You can call me anything that sounds like my name. No offence taken!"
John: "We just call him Bart"
Me: "Yeah. It's fine. I know who you mean. I always call myself Bharath.... but I don't expect you guys to pronounce it properly. So no worries. Shall we start then?"
Craig: "Braaath?"
Me (sighing): "No well... it's more like ba as in barter, ra as in rabies, ith the way kith ends"
Bob (with lighted eyes): "Baraaaaaat?"
Me: "Yeah that's fine"
Craig (suspicious): "That's not the way you pronounce it though is it?"
Me: "No really! That was great!"
Bob: "Oh cmon Bart. How do you pronounce it?"
Me: "It really doesn't matter. As long as it sounds like my name, I don't really care!"
John: "Yea! We tried too. We just call him Bart."
Bart: "Did someone call me?"
John (giggling): "No we were just trying to pronounce Bart's name"
Me (giggling): "Yea. Go away Bart!"
Jim: "You guys haven't started your game yet?"
Craig: "We're just trying to learn how to pronounce Bart's name. But he won't tell us. We don't want to offend him y'know"
John: "Yea we just call him Bart"
Me: "I really don't get offended! I understand!"
Bob: "Barut?"
Me: "I got a new can of balls. Wanna do the toss now or later?"
Craig: "No Bob... It's more like Barith right Bart?"
Me (Beaming): "Right on the money bud. So W or M?"
Bob (Beaming): "Burith? I knew I would get it right!"
Me (Beaming): "Yeah. You guys are so good at pronouncing it!"
John: "Hey guys! Lee just told me that Tim is playing Bart tonight."
Me: "Oh ok."

Tim: "Hey Bart! I'm Tim"
Me: "Hey Tim! I'm Bharath. Do you want to practice a bit first or toss?"
Tim (interested): "Barat?"
John: "We just call him Bart."
Me: "D'oh!"

I'm not a big fan of prose. In fact I hate prose.... those lying poets promising people the moon and stars when they damn well know it takes more than a space shuttle to even get close to one let alone drag the damn thing back. I mean what will their beloved do with stars anyways? It's not they can collect them or something.

On the same lines, I'm not a big fan of song lyrics. When I listen to a song, it's more about the tune than the actual song itself. Which probably why I can never really remember the words of a song when I try to sing along to them. I always sing the wrong words!

But occasionally there comes a song that I fall in love with. Not just the tune, but also the words. Words that enhance the actual the beauty of the song itself. Take the song Tere Bin from the movie Bas Ek Pal.

Gorgeous! I've been listening to it all day.

tere bin main yun kaise jiya
kaise jiya tere bin
tere bin main yun kaise jiya
kaise jiya tere bin
lekar yaad teri raaten meri kati - 2
mujhse baaten teri karti hai chaandani
tanha hai tujh bin raaten meri
din mere din ke jaise nahi
tanha badan tanha hai ruh nam meri aankhen rahe
aaja mere ab rubaru
jeena nahi bin tere
tere bin main yun kaise jiya
kaise jiya tere bin
tere bin main yun kaise jiya
kaise jiya tere bin

kabse aankhen meri raah mein tere bichhi - 2
bhule se hi kahi tu mil jaaye kabhi
bhule na mujhse baaten teri
bheegi hai har pal aankhen meri
kyun saans loon kyun main jiyu
jeena bura sa lage
kyun ho gaya tu bewafaaa mujhko bata de wajah
tere bin main yun kaise jiya
kaise jiya tere bin ...
tere bin main yun kaise jiya
kaise jiya tere bin ...

Why do songs evoke such feelings? When I listen to a song it's more than a medley of sounds and words. It is almost a religious experience. Not only do I hear the song, but somehow the entire moment seems to get imprinted into my mind forever.

I get so nostalgic when I listen to songs. When I hear the Alai Payuthey songs, I recollect all the things I did on my trip of 2000 to India. The crazy impersonations of Madhavan on a bike, or maybe the numerous bus rides I took to and from Airport road on my way to my internship at IBM. Or my visits to all the bholi stalls in Mambalam.

Others transport me back to road trips I took with friends. Those 14 hr odysseys to Austin, New Orleans, Key West, the Smoky Mountains. The songs seem to personify my memories in ways that can only be described as penseive-ish (think Harry Potter). A magical slideshow of bittersweet memories that often end in my smiling wistfully. And then.... I hit play again...

The climbing wall

I found out a new fun activity today...the climbing wall! I've never really climbed before. Although I've never been strength challenged, I've always been a little inflexible - so I never really gave climbing much thought.

But it's really fun! Fun doesn't get much easier than this. You just strap on a harness, a helmet and then all you do is climb. Doesn't get much simpler than that!

I was volunteering at the County Parks and as a volunteer I helped their staff manage the kiddie line at the climbing wall for a private party. Hoardes of kids kept lining up to scale the walls. Although I've always loved kids... four hours of getting them to get into harnesses and slapping on helmets makes for some pretty intense physical labor. Give me a couple of hundred sacks to lug around any day! Not to mention that a lot of them were quite excited about being able to climb the wall and so wouldn't stop shouting and screaming!

It was cute in the beginning, but got old very quickly! My ears are still a little hard of hearing when one girl of about 8 started shrieking to her parents about how excited she was to climb and how they should watch her make it to the very top! And all this with my poor eardrums a mere 10 inches from her open mouth!

Well anyways, the harness changing for the kids was really worth it, coz at the end us volunteers could go up and down the wall for free. I really wasn't planning on climbing the wall, but after seeing all the kids go at it I figured why not give it a go. So it didn't take a couple of other volunteers much to get me to get strapped in and doggedly swarm up the wall. It was surprisingly easy and even more fun! And I actually managed to do the second most difficult climb. Coming down though was my favorite part. Once you get all the way to the top, you just lean back, keep both hands on the harness and rapel your way down. I was a little disappointed to find that we had to pack up. I envied the little kids that kept coming back again and again to climb the wall.

I know I'm going to volunteer again for the county parks so I can try out some of the other climbs on the wall. Hopefully we'll have to serivice some playboy centerfolds this time instead of a bunch of screaming kids.... not that there's a difference... I mean it would just be so much more fun getting the former into harnesses and making sure they had the harnesses on correctly. :D. (If not playboy centerfolds, even the local cheerleading team will do. After all for us volunteers it's our work that comes first)

The Great Indian Train Journey

Sunshine's posts about her experiences with the buses and some conversations on cricforum with my friends made me reminisce about my favorite mode of travel. The train.

Most of my journeys on the train were made as a kid. Before our travel time became too precious to waste on a train journey, the train was my family's modus travellandi. :). Be it Delhi, or Agartala, no place was too far for a train journey. Happening to be a kid that loved to travel and see new places, I used to adore our journeys on the train. The majority of my travels used to be with my mom, or patti as I escorted them on their journeys from Madras to Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, Mysore and all over the south.

What is it about the train journeys that seemed so magical to me?

Was it the food, the bunk beds in the 3rd tier and 2nd class AC, the chai and coffee wallas who served up this nectar that had you smacking your lips, the other travelers who hailed from all parts of India and spoke with strange accents or languages? Or could it be the joy of being able to wander about the train compartments knowing that you were ambling towards your destination? The possibility of being able to observe people from all walks of life on the train getting from pt A to B?

The poor bachelors used to be at the beck and call of all, old and young to get the most menial tasks done. Whether it was getting suitcases out of the storage places, or running out onto the platform to get everybody's water bottles filled.

Was it being able to watch other people at work in the paddy fields or on their way to and from office as you were on holiday? Perhaps it was the feeling of being so fast that you could outrun any car or bus on the road, the telephone and power poles rushing past you as the train rocked you to sleep.

Then again maybe it was those wondrous Western Ghat tunnels that peppered the tracks and interrupted the breathtaking views afforded to a nature starved city boy.

Or could it be the hawkers that went up and down the trains selling everything from masal-wadais to spinning tops. On the other hand, nothing could beat the feeling of achievement that I felt when I made it across those spooky joints that connected the train compartments from one corner of the train to another.

How about the feeling of awe and fear that I felt when the train made those huge booming sounds as it passed over the rushing waters of the Godavris, the Narmada, Krishna and other rivers that stretched as far as the eye could see!

Train trips were also a time to read new books and get away from the grind of doing homework or other mundane things that seemed to become so tedious to a small kid. It was a time to see the scripts of the posters on the walls change from Tamil, to Telugu, to Kannada, Devanagri and many others that I could not name. A time when your ticket collector would start off speaking Hindi and before you knew it would ask you for your ticket in Bhojpuri.

Did I mention the food? Why did everything taste so much better on the train? The Frootis tasted fruitier, the bondas and bhajjis tasted more delicious, the masal-wadas spicier, the pongal warmer, the chutney - well chutnier than any food at home or hotel ever could aspire to. I remember waiting desperately for our home-cooked food to run out, so I could could gorge on the greasy train food served in those aluminum foil tiffin boxes. I felt so important when I got to order the kind of food that I wanted.

However nothing could beat the feeling of getting to your destination often greeted by the people you love as they come to collect you from the belly of the metal beast that brought you to them.

Why did I love train journeys so much? Maybe it's time I found out again.

Youth vs Experience

Our team was the team to beat. We had not lost a single match to any of the teams our region. We first pummeled and then rolled up our opponents in style. I was a big part of our success in our previous seasons. I had lost only one game out of all the games that I had played. However, when the going is that good, it is the humble that succeed. No doubt I was good, but thanks to my victories there was the little matter of becoming over-confident. Still it seemed to make no difference to my game. I was winning games everywhere! And then fate decided that it was time for me to come back down to earth.

It was the second match of our season. Faithful to our reputation we had just rolled over our previous opponents and were looking to walk in and out to record our second victory. After all we had thrashed this team the last time we had played them. It was full of old guys who weren't expected to hold a candle to us.

I was told that I'd be playing this 60 year old guy. I smirked and asked a teammate of mine if he was sticking around so that I could practice a little with him after I was done with this guy. We made some jokes about how these old guys were making our games so boring. I mean we weren't playing professionally or anything, but playing these old guys who could hardly move around was just taking the fun out of the game.

My decrepit opponent shuffled up to me and we introduced ourselves. The first thing that went through my mind on seeing him was that he seemed to look like a turtle! His face was all shriveled up and he was hunched up a little making him look like he had a mini shell on his back. I sighed thinking what a waste of energy this was and we warmed up. He took awfully long! I was sympathetic and figured I may as well give him a little fun. So we traded blows and after an eternity decided to start the game.

He won the toss and floated a serve across the net. I almost fell over laughing. I smacked it with all the power I had and watched it zoom back to him. I expected him to fall all over himself trying to avoid getting hit by it. However to my amazement all he did was get his racket to it ... and it sailed over the net for a perfect drop shot. I could have got it easily, had I not been rooted to the ground, mouth open in shock! He grinned at me and said, "Great shot!", and then shuffled over to hit the next serve. Another floater, another boom as I smack it, another lovely deflection, followed by the grin and shuffle. I couldn't believe it! Two returns that any pro would have been proud of and I was two points down!

I then decided I would make the bag o' bones run a little. The next serve was another floater, but somehow he managed to put it in the one spot that I couldn't reach even I had dived after it. He had aced me. I didn't have to look up to see the grin on his face. I could almost feel it!

Game after game, he out-thought me, making me run and play the kind of game that he was most comfortable with. I did win the occasional game and point, but I was completely unnerved. I would not have been able to recognize the game this old guy was making me play. Game after game, point after point, the grin-shuffle kept coming and going, until I couldn't stand it anymore. My captain who was watching the game walked up to me and asked me why I was playing the fool. All I could do was shrug. Another sly grin formed on my opponent's wizened face when he heard this. I managed to make a mini-comeback and win a set but in the final set he had wrung every bit of energy from me. And somehow he was still standing. Here I was, a strapping 25 year old in the form of his life toyed with by a man almost three times his age!

At the end of the game, he walks up to me and handed me his hand gingerly said, "So your friend still sticking around for that game you wanted after you thrashed me?" and ambled off into the darkness.

All I could do was stand there with my mouth open.

In order to win, ability alone does not count. In the fascinating world of sports, you could be faster, stronger, more competitive, more talented, and able. However, unless you respect your opponent you could get schooled by your opponent. Never again will I doubt someone based on their appearance or age.

Ten things that you love about your life

Being miserable about things in our life is the easiest thing to do in the world! Think about it. How many things can you name that you hate about your life? I can bet that you can list a 100 problems in the space of 5 mins. Car and house payments, gardening (maybe that's just me :) ), feeling underpaid at work or overworked, losing out in love, the situation in Iraq, et al. Now name 10 things that you love about your life.

Go on ... take your time.

Too hard?

I was astounded when I could not think of 10 things that I loved about my life. 10 measly things.... I mean even after I separated my family out to occupy one item each I barely got to 10. How many times do you count your blessings? How often are you happy for the fact that there are people you love that love you back? That you have never had to worry about starving or are in good health? That you never have to worry about scrounging for money to go see a movie or order in that pizza you love to feast on?

Why do I have so few things to be happy about? It was a question that I was only able to answer when the American Red Cross came to our office for blood donations. I volunteered at their booth to get a break from my office routine and then found out what I was missing. Giving. Giving without expecting back in return.

To cut a long, sappy story short, I signed up on the spot and donated a pint of blood as well. Maybe it was the lack of blood rushing through my body, but suddenly I fell in love with life again. The feeling of satisfaction I received from knowing that something that I take for granted everyday can be the difference between life and death for another.

Sure I've volunteered before. I've helped build houses, take pictures of dogs for the local SPCA, stood and run in mini-marathons for CRY, cancer etc etc.... but I always wanted something back in return. I realized when I gave blood that there is so much more to life than just taking all the time.

Today on Amit Varma's blog Indiauncut I read a post that directed me to this plea by Balaji. I followed the links until I got to the page where I learnt about the fate that awaited these patients for lack of something that I have no problem producing. I am going to make an appointment to see if I can help any of these people out in any way. I'm not saying this to make you think that I'm special. It is an indirect plea to everyone out there to start giving. Maybe you may not want to donate your blood or bone marrow. Do something else. Give without expecting anything back. Trust me. You won't need ten things to make you love life again.

P.S. To the guys. At the blood drive I got 8 telephone numbers from drop dead gorgeous girls that wouldn't have bothered to give me the time of day otherwise.

P.P.S Don't worry mom ... I didn't call them (yet! :))

The fastest of 'em all?

Which is the only car that can outspeed a Lamborghini, Evo, Audi TT, and, a Corvette?

The Mahindra Jeep. How? Check it out for yourself! Sometimes as they say it's good to be mysterious. :)

Holy Orkut!

Google has the Midas touch. It really does. I mean take almost anything that they ventured into (software wise). They have an astounding rate of success - because their products are amazing. I was coerced into joining Orkut (Google's version of Myspace). With much reluctance I got past my inertia for these public forums where people fall over themselves to give out information about themselves to strangers. And I'm loving it!

You can join Orkut by invitation only... which means that there are far fewer spammers that can get onto it unlike other similar sites such as hi5 and Friendster. The layout and tools supported rock! I was especially astounded by the super speedy page loads and times taken to upload pictures from your machine. There are few kinks in the system... and the network there is amazing. I suppose they have used Ajax to the max on these sites. Ajax is awesome! It is revolutionizing the web industry! Ok... sorry enough geeky stuff :).

Getting back to the site... I have found friends that I had completely forgotten about! Just the other day I was going through some digital pictures of mine and remenescing about the wonderful people that I have met in my life. I wished that I had been more proactive in keeping in touch with the people who had been a big part of my life at some point or the other. Living in Charleston playing tennis to fill my time is great... but I miss my college friends and other friends who made my life complete!

I must give a big thank you to Orkut and the people that made me join. There are too many ppl to thank for that... so well u know who you are... And if you are not reading this, then well you don't deserve to be thanked in the first place :).

So well I have been Orkutting since day before evening at home, in the office, when I get up in the morning and before I go to sleep at night. So well if you have an Orkut account I'd love to hear from you.

If not you should try it out!

This was just so funny that I had to bump it up again!

Coming soon... Da Machi Code

One of the funniest forwards I have ever read! Courtesy of Cricforum :D ...

YENJOY the 10 min preview of the impending blockbuster!

Robert Lingam I.P.S (Rajanikanth) visits Madurai to deliver a lecture in college about public safety. The head pujari of Meenakshi temple is murdered. He was stabbed to death, but before dying he lies down in the robotic break dance position next to a shiva lingam, the message clearly being "call robert lingam". He had also smashed the breasts of a goddess statue and hung a bell with a chain from her hip. Also clutched in his hand is the Congress party manifesto with the 49% reservation for OBCs underlined with his blood.

Pujari's grand daughter Mahalakshmi (Sneha) had just returned from USA with a degree in cryptology, symbology, singing and group-dance. She cuts short her weekend trip to Chennai and returns to Madurai upon the murder.

She meets Commissioner Lingam at the murder site and together embarkto solve the murder and in the process "witness the biggest cover up in Hindu history". "My 'Thaatha' used to insist that me and my brother play hide and seek inside the temple", said Mahalakshmi.

"Why the congress manifesto? Why the underlining on the reservation part? Was your thaatha going to lose his job as head-priest to an OBC candidate?",puzzled look on Lingam's face with knit eyebrows."Thaatha always said reservation was plain bull shit"

"What?"

"Bull shit - very rarely he used english but whenever this topic used tocome up, he wud use that term"Lingam's eyes lit up.

"That's the clue...yes, bull shit, oh Rama how did i miss that", excited he clutches Mahalakshmi's wrist as they bolt out of the murder scene.

"Where is the biggest Nandi bull statue in this temple complex?"

"By the east gate"

"Let's go".................

Lingam put his hand into the orifice which was the asshole of the Nandi bull statue. His fingers felt the cold touch of an ancient palm leaf. Pulling it out Lingam attempted to read under the flickering light of the solitary lamp post nearby.neatly written in outdated tamil script were the lines,

"Kai Anchu, Vaai Nooru Periya bookukule oru chinna book" (Literal Translation: 5 Hands, 100 Mouths, Big book with a small book inside)

"Ah", Lingam sighed.

"What does it mean?"

"I have heard both these lines before...but in a very different context"

Lingam looked skywards for some divine intervention to help him solve this new clue. Towering into the skyline in front of him as dawn was breaking,was the tall gopuram of the temple. Quickly turning around, a smile danced on Lingam's lips as his sight fell on all the five towers. "The five towers, phallic symbols...the five Pandava brothers, We need to get to a library,I need to see the original copy of the Kama sutra", "this early in the morning?" asked Mahalakshmi as they hurried towards Lingam's jeep. "And what does it have to do with Reservation?"

As they jeep hurtled towards the town library, Lingam explained, "Few temples in India are famous for their erotic art and architecture.

The kings built those to encourage population growth. For centuries, there has been rumours of a secret society that guarded a secret behind such art and symbols, a secret so powerful that if revealed would shake the very foundations of conservative culture. In fact it may make our OBCs into FCs and FCs into BCs and BCs into OBCs and STs into SCs. We may even discover more castes in the entire process!"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", screams Mahalaxmi

COMING SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU....
WITNESS THE GREATEST COVER UP IN HINDU HISTORY
A SECRET SO DEVASTATING THAT IF REVEALED COULD LEAD TO EVEN MORE CATACLISMIC POPULATION EXPLOSION..... LEADING TO MANY MORE CASTES!!!

WAS THE MOST NOTORIOUS PIECE OF INDIAN LITERATURE ORIGINALLY PART OF
THE GREATEST EPIC POEM EVER WRITTEN?

WERE THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE KAMASUTRA THE SAME GODS AND GODDESSES GLORIFIED IN ANCIENT TEXTS? ARE WE GOING TO DISCOVER MORE CASTES? WILL OBCs FINALLY BECOME FCs?

CONTINUING WITH THE MODERN INDIAN TRADITION OF BLATANTLY APING THE
WEST....

A.M.RATNAM PRESENTS
SUPERSTAR Rajni and assorted castes in

THE DA MACHI CODE

'SO CORNY A DARK MAN'

PONGAL 2007