Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I found an old article I had written for my uni's newspaper once. A match report for our cricket tournament. Can't seem to find the remaining of the series :( Still awesome memories rekindled by this one here.


Jingalalahoodihoo

Bharath Hemachandran
Guest Writer


The sun was shining, the birds (well crickets… no birds around Sunset Trace) were singing when the players of Jinga-lala-hoo and Hoodibaba woke up early in the morning in preparation for their first intramural match.

Everyone was all set for one of the big intramural games this semester. Things seemed to be going perfectly! The weather seemed to defy Weather.com, the reference point for all intramural games (from this point henceforth). Weather.com had predicted thunderstorms throughout the day, and yet the current state of atmosphere seemed to have dealt a knockout
punch to the web-site’s gloomy predictions. The captains had their team talks with their respective players to ensure that all their players turned up for the match. Hoodibaba’s captain even had the nerve to map out a strategy for the game with his vice-captain, and the
captain of Jinga-lala-hoo was actually up by ten in the morning!

The rains literally poured lots and lots of cold water on the plans via a cloudburst that lasted exactly 10 minutes and 50 seconds. Despondent were the captains and players of the respective
teams over the prospect of there not being a match up, but give up they did not.
On closer inspection of the pitch (which is supposed to be even), it was concluded that they would be better off playing on the crater-filled surface of the moon. However, again the enthusiasm of the players and the prospect of an open revolt resulted in hasty decision being made to actually manage on this pitch. And so, the game was about to begin, with everything
in order, with the bowler ready to start the game, and with the batsmen, umpires and fielders looking keen to begin.

Alas! It was not to be. The Florida weather gods figured that we were too eager to play and decided that they should break the whole thing up with a neat display of lightning accompanied
by lots of rain. So, beaten and very wet, the captains and umpires could come to only one conclusion:
the match had to be abandoned and the points split. Stay tuned for more match reports on this exciting and funfilled ICO Champions Cricket Trophy.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

A fun Diwali

I had the best Diwali I've had in about 12 years. Usually Diwalis in the US consist of waking up in the middle of the afternoon, finding out about the day being Diwali from other people wishing you, getting dressed in the night and go and have some food with a few friends at some lame function.

However this year was different. I really had a blast this year. Woke in the morning and tried caling everyone on my phonebook list to wish them a happy diwali. Unfortunately most people seemed to be busy doing the same or hadn't woken up as yet. So well I talked to a bunch of voicemail programs expressing my wishes or hastily cut the line after wishing the sleepy uns a happy diwali. No point in drawing curses for waking ppl up y'know.

Well anyways I had more food that I can care to name, burst firecrackers after 12 years, breathed in the smoke from the firecrackers that reminded me of being stuck in an auto on the roads of Bangalore, oh and did I mention all the food???









Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Finding the malfunction in YOU - Secrets to a more successful and famous life

Forget what you have been told by every person who felt qualified to give you advice. Nurturing your true talents have nothing to do with how successful you become in life. The true path to fame and fortune lies in finding which of your talents you can cause to malfunction in life. What I am trying to say is take your best talent (even a mediocre talent will do just fine), cause it to malfunction and you will find yourself in a whole other plane of success, fame, and fortune.

I have performed exhaustive research into this intriguing hypothesis and am giving you enviable people the prologue to my ground breaking novel.

Finding the malfunction in YOU - Secrets to a more successful and famous life

Let me start with the most obvious type of malfunction. That caused by mistreated accessories, and articles of clothing that go on strike when needed most..... Or is it all a highly calculated strategy employed by people that are indeed smarter than they look?

Ever since Janet Jackson's strap decided to "malfunction" in front of millions of people, we have seen so many different clothes deciding to make a statement for themselves by going on strike. Coincidentally it only happens during major public events and to little known/struggling actresses desperate for some publicity. Nonetheless look at what it has done for their careers.

Those poor hot bods confined within clothing that was at least one size too small to be called clothing, rightly celebrated their right to freedom by conspiring with their captors and causing them to strike. Sure we got the baleful smiles accompanied by the "OH MY GOD!"s and "HOLY !"s, but what was the end result? It meant that despite the clothes wanting to prove a point for themselves the actresses' celebrating hot bods ensured they got the fillip their careers desperately needed.

Being the researcher that I am conducting exhaustive studies on these malfunctions and sparing no photograph covering these incidents, I have concluded that having malfunctions are a good thing. In fact I have even noticed that it is not just the wardrobe variety that can lead a person to fame, fortune and success.

Take the wildly successful rise to success of the multi-talented man Himesh Reshammiya. In an industry where singing success was measured against the yardsticks of the Rafis and Kishore Kumars, this man has defied all logical odds to eclipse each and every one of these singers.

What is the secret behind his success you may wonder? Well wonder no more. The secret is his malfunctioning voice. There are people who have been thrown out of music classes or offered consolation prizes for horrible singing before, but this musical genius has cunningly synergyized his wildly malfunctioning voice with his hyperactive nasal passages to give us music that has wowed his audiences.

It is not the quality of his songs as much as the fascination associated with this synergy that has dumbfounded his critics and captivated his fans. Himesh has had such a profound impact that even elevators that previously announced floors with a crisp beep have been reprogrammed to beep with a heavy nasal intonation.

Now can Rafi with his perfect voice ever claim to have influenced the mechanical world in such a manner?

Even his malfunctioning face and body have inspired enough people to thrust him into the role of a film hero as detailed by this article.

So my friends, all is not lost. Do not despair. You still have time to find that one talent of yours and cause it to malfunction. Who knows where your malfunctioning talent will take you?

I have seen glimpses of my true path to fame and fortune coming from my mediocre writing. I am still pondering on how exactly I can make it malfunction to reap the kind of success the subjects of my studies have. But I have already set on the path to success. Isn't it time you do the same???

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Pic of Swathy and me taken on our engagement day

Me and Swathy
Confusion abounds

Reams have been written about how two people completely disconnected from each other suddenly happen to meet one fine day and things change for them..... fast. As a guy I strictly kept away from these candy floss stories about a guy and a girl meeting and then suddenly accompanied by many more strangers they run around trees and bushes, scale unnecessary heights and find the most beautiful fields that one could ever hope to find by chance to express their love for each other.

All this is very farcical - until it happens to you. Ok fine I never did the chasing in the presence of the flora and fauna, nor did I scale any heights, nor come across any beautiful fields.... but what I did come across would be cause for the authors of this genre to lick their lips in appreciation of a good story.

Enter the protagonists.... A boy who had just gotten used to living by himself whose only loves in life was his tennis, work, parents and house. A girl who was single-mindedly focused on completing her architecture degree and partying with her friends as much as was possible in infrastructurally challenged Bangalore, and, the parents who were spending much of their time online; sifting through horoscopes of potential grooms and brides for their wards.
Now it's not that the neither boy nor girl had anything against their parents doing the whole matchmaking thing. It was only that the two of them expected the entire process to take at least a couple of years for anything to happen. Both expected to be introduced to potential matches soon, but then they had both expected to say a firm no to anyone that had the misfortune to meet them.

So the boy goes back to traffic challenged B'lore after a looooooooooooooooong time all charged up to make visits to some old temples he had seen on a discovery channel show. After all who knew when he would have the time to do such things again? After taking the first couple of days to get over the mind-numbing jetlag he is asked to dress up for the evening. Further enquiries result in him being told that someone interested in me as a potential groom was paying us a visit. Smirking the boy dresses up pitying the parents. The potential in-laws pay a visit and confuse the boy. Apparently they liked their potential in-laws a lot (the boy's parents). He thought they had come to see him.... instead they seemed more interested in knowing about his parents.

Nonetheless another rendezvous is made where the boy gets to talk to the girl. The very confused potential groom pays a visit at the assigned time and location in the company of his parents where he talks to the girl. And talk they did.... for about 4 hrs continuously. Now the boy is very, very confused. He had come to politely decline the interest being shown in him and yet here he was talking to this immensely likable girl who seemed to share a lot of common interests which included a desire to go skydiving and loving insane roller coasters.
Nonetheless... deciding to play it safe the boy and girl (much to the disappointment of their parents) decide to ask for another week to make up their minds. So a third rendezvous is decided on, and this time around the very confused girl (who went through similar emotions to the boy until now) pays a visit to the confused boy's house.

Suddenly all the confusion disappears and both boy and girl decide that they can't do without each other and that they should get married. There was no confetti, no dancing angels, no harps and violins (or veenas and tamburas for the Indian version).... only a distinct feeling of completeness for both boy and girl.

Over the next two weeks the formerly confused boy and girl discover that they had wasted a whole week trying to decide whether they actually liked each other, and proceeded to make the Airtel phone company, assorted restaurateurs in Bangalore, and, taxi companies bless their impending union courtesy of the windfall that was put their way.

However all good things must come to an end. So the boy departs to his abode after a whirlwind engagement with a heavy heart knowing that it will be a few months before he can see the girl again.

The boy and girl are getting married in Feb 2007 and are hoping that the rest of their lives can be even one half as exciting and amazing as the past two weeks have been for the two of them.