Writing styles - Mills & Boons

Every writer has a style. The style that I have always found very entertaining (albeit in small doses) is the one used by the authors of that fascinating genre of books under the infamous M&B banner.

I suppose if you throw in a bunch of overdressed overactors, with overly sentimental, loud and over the top music you get a soap in any televised language.

Getting back to the books... and their writing style, M&B books are so much fun to read. A sure shot cure for any bout of depression or day when you're down. I mean just see how much more interesting life is through a M&B scenario! Unfortunately a guy has to read a bunch of stuff about the heros of the stories who are always unimaginably handsome and feel inadequate about themselves... but nonetheless hope is restored as the descriptions of the unimaginably beautiful heroine ensue.

Take a normal nursery rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after

M&B style:

(First some background on our characters - Jill is a spoilt brat socialite and Jack is the poor cowboy who works on the ranch owned by Jill's father)

Jack's pounding heart raced as he followed the love of his life Jill through forest and over seas. His muscles rippled in anticipation of climbing the hill that loomed in the distance. Although he loved Jill and her heaving bosom with all his soul questions raced through his sandy hair covered head as his mane blew in the breeze like straws in the wind.

Why did she need to quench her thirst with water only from this gosh darned hill. It was so steep! Why was it so steep? Was she wearing a sports bra today? Her bosom didn't seem to be heaving as much...

Jill twinkling blue eyes sparkled as she thought about how much she was making Jack race after her. Good I'm wearing a sports bra tonight she thought as her delicate, porcelain features twisted into a smile that would have made the clouds weep in appreciation. Jill was enjoying making Jack run after her. After all someone with her beauty deserved a little bit of fun. Even though Jack was very good looking (the blah blahs ... i usually started skipping over the male descriptions from here on until the author started on the female again), but was he the one to get her water from the well everyday?

(ok getting a little tired here... so going into fast forward mode)

Little by little, day by day, Jack and Jill got closer to their destiny of drinking water from the well. Jack's muscles rippled a lot in the meantime as his green eyes haunt Jill and her heaving bosoms and delicate and porcelain beauty with a liberal sprinkling of curvaceous figure and attitude threaten to destroy Jack. Despite their deepest desires of getting some water on the well they after much drama sleep with each other.... and then on the way down fall and break their heads.

(Sorry got work to do and have to go to the gym for my own set of rippling muscles... so had to end the last 3 lines quickly. If you would really like me to expand the story please leave me a comment and I will do so in an update)

Well as you can see M&B is fun. It has something for both guys and girls. Isn't writing in someone else's mode of writing more fun? Ideas and suggestions for any more styles?