Monday, August 06, 2007

A tale of two movies

Although I had plenty to do this weekend, I still managed to eke out some time to watch a couple of movies. One I watched because I wouldn't have missed it for the world and the other is a demonstration of the crazy things a person is driven to do in desperation.

Watched the Bourne Ultimatum on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Dropped a friend off at the airport in the morning and did some odd end jobs until the matinee show aired. Got there a little late and was forced to watch the entire movie from the second row. But boy was the movie good!



A distinguishing feature of the Bourne franchise is that it goes for substance rather than gloss. There are no stupid witticisms, no unnecessary scenes, no gloss whatsoever. The movie is plain and unadulterated fun. It is so fast paced! And it never fails to make sense. The movie goes about its business with an air of someone who has too much to do with too little time. Our amnesiac protagonist flits between cities as often as a normal person may go to the pharmacy or the grocers. He matches his wits and muscle against bunch of government baddies and their lackeys for whom assassinating someone in broad daylight is child's play. Against impossible odds Bourne always succeeds at his objective... be it beating up a bunch of CIA agents or finding the secret offices of CIA operatives with nothing more than Google and a parchment of paper with an address on it.

Throughout the movie Bourne's actions and robot like efficiency of getting things done can only make you gasp in admiration. The action sequences throughout the movie are exquisitely directed each more spectacular than the other. Bourne's journey from Russia through Europe to New York gave me a major adrenaline rush. Despite the frenetic pace of the movie, there was never a point in time that I felt lost. Although the movie is said to be loosely relevant to the books the storyline is very tight. Every scene has a part to play in the movie. If you like action movies, or, fast paced thrillers, this is the movie for you.

Now for the second movie... Cash. As far as I am concerned ... the movie should be renamed Crap. My reaction to watching this movie can be summed up by the title of one of its songs. Rahem Kare! (Have mercy) Had I not had the option to forward through the movie, I may have gone into depression.

The only reason I watched the movie was because I liked the songs. They are peppy, fast songs that are awesome to listen to in the car or as a pick me up at the end of a long day. And well I wanted to see if the babe in the picture below happened to have any more scenes in the movie. Boy should I have resisted the temptation to watch this piece of crap!




Hindi movie makers have for long been churning out so called action movies that look more like sequences from Bad Video Games Gone Wild! Unfortunately from what I read all these movies are classified as blockbusters. If you like meaningless, over the top, stupid, cheesy dialogues topped off with action scenes that are poor rip-offs of English movies, then this is the movie for you! Some idiot had the bright idea of putting actors who speak English with an accent that would make a Mexican immigrant cringe into a bunch of uncoordinated action sequences that seem to involve every mode of transportation possible with the notable exception of a submarine and possibly a golf cart.

What was the movie about? There was something in there about some diamonds and how everyone in the movie handled them at one stage. However I noticed that the actors seemed more interested in delivering silly jokes that even their mothers would find difficult to laugh at. Everyone was involved in trying to look cool by wearing clothes and sporting hairstyles that they happened to be a few decades too old for.

In case you still haven't decided to watch Crap, here's something that may get you off your behind and into the theatre (to throw rotten eggs at the screen). The movie features Ritesh Deshmukh with a hairstyle that even the orangutans would be offended by, Zayed Khan trying to rap, Esha Deol in tiny clothes (WARNING: you may poke your eyes out watching this), Ajay Devgan in blond hair (talk about blacks on blonds!), and, the terrible Shettys (Sunil - I think he has given up on trying to make a decent movie - and Shamita) trying to act.


I was so happy when the movie ended I had half a mind to wake up my neighbours and treat them all! God forbid what I would have done had I actually paid money to watch this in a theatre! My puny mind shudders at the thought of having to actually sit through this in a theatre!

2 comments:

cure for ennui said...

hahahahahah! liked the closing para a lot bro ehhehehhehe. humm must check oout the bourne series.

Bharath Hemachandran said...

:)

Thanks