Taare Zameen Par - A review

Cinema produced in India can generally be classified into the following categories: Entertaining, Watchable, Bad, Thrash, I want my money back.

Most movies that I have been forced to watch this year (1st day 1 show no less) can be bracketed into the latter few categories. It often pains me when I realize that people spend large amounts of money to film in exotic locations, create elaborate sets, hire some of the supposedly biggest names in the industry and yet come out with movies that I would happily relegate into the dustbin were it a piece of paper.

However there is one movie that I had the pleasure of watching that comes into a category that the Hindi film industry has almost forgotten about. It is called the good movie category. The type of movie that people who end up spending their hard earned movie deserve to watch.

Taare Zameen Par is veteran actor Amir Khan's directorial debut. Amir Khan is one of the few actors in the Hindi film industry whose films regularly check into the good movie category. Unfortunately his films are few and far between. His last venture Fanaa a pathetic venture starring Kajol made people wonder if he could ever capture the cinematic magic of the movie Lagaan again.

Happily he manages to do so with Taare Zameen Par. The movie has all the hallmarks of a great movie. It makes entertains you, makes you laugh, cry and at the same time makes you think... not just about the social issue handled so wonderfully in the movie, but also about the movie itself.

I headed into the theatre thinking it was a kids movie. I bought tickets without knowing anything about it. I had read no reviews nor had I heard any of its songs. I had no idea on what to expect from it.

The first half of the movie is extremely entertaining with lots of "I did that" moments as we follow the misadventures of the adorable Darsheel Safary in primary school. Be it getting taunted by your classmates about not getting test papers signed, or getting into fights, or to being told to stand outside class - there is something that everyone can relate to from their own lives.

Our protagonist - Darsheel Safary or Ishan as he is known in the film is a brat - a complete opposite to his perfect brother who is a topper and tennis player). He does whatever he feels like and has a tendency to lapse into a world of his own and ignore everything that happens around him. He has an unique perspective about the world and is constantly pulled up for being a misfit in a conformist world. He is a wonderful artist and uses his wonderful imagination to its fullest, but other than his brother and mother finds few other admirers. His family loves him dearly but are often left wondering what they can do to with him.

Ishan's many misadventures that include walking out of school and loafing around the whole day end up with his over-achieving father packing him off to boarding school to get disciplined.

However boarding school transforms the carefree brat into a recluse. The rigors of boarding school life causes him to withdraw completely into a shell. He struggles to cope with the loneliness thrust upon him and misses the love of his mother who despite his many transgressions was the one person who stood up for him. Ishan's condition goes from bad to worse and he becomes withdrawn ... unable to express his despair to anyone around him. Slowly we see a boy whose spirit has been broken. A boy who looks like he has nothing more to look forward to from life.

However just when things look their darkest for Ishan, along comes temporary art teacher Mr. Ram Shankar Nikumbh. Ram Shankar is refereshingly different from the other teachers in the school. He does not tell his students what to do .. rather he encourages them to think outside the box and bring out their inner artist from within. All his students love his style of teaching and have a blast in his classes. All except Ishan who does nothing but stare blankly. Stumped by his behavior Ram Shankar investigates and discovers that Ishan is dyslexic. As somone who was dyslexic himself, he takes it upon himself to help Ishan.

Taare Zameen par is an emotional rollercoaster. Grown men wept unashamedly as Ram Shankar manages to bring Ishan out of his shell to help him regain his shattered self-image.

I would gladly go out on a limb to state that this movie is possibly one of the best movies I have ever seen. Amir Khan, Darsheel Safary and Tisca Chopra (Ishan's mother) deserve to be felicated for a fantastic performance.

The music of the movie suits the movie to a tee. There are a couple of tracks that stand out (Maa and the title track). The speical effects in the movie are one of the best I have seen in a hindi movie.

Partner - An honest review

Not being able to get a good night's sleep is a disaster waiting to happen. You can almost feel the deathly grip of boredom descend as one gets bored of surfing and hoping to catch something watchable on cable. After all how many 'Call me nows' from the psychic Cleo and Home Shopping Network ads attempting to pawn off stuff that retail stores were too smart to shelve can you watch? So after watching a couple sparing not flora nor fauna in an attempt to sell a micro blender, I figured I would chance watching a movie online.

Felt like having a bit of a laugh and was thrilled to see that Govinda and David Dhawan had teamed up recently to make Partner. After all I love Govinda's comedies. They are just plain zany... he has such good comic timing that even the stupidest thing he did would have me rolling on the floor. The songs were peppy in this movie as well.. not the kind that you would want to hear when you are looking for some melody ... but good timepass songs.

So I start the movie up, and forward the credits ... and lie back to enjoy the movie. Turned up the A/C and wrapped myself up tight in my quilt.... Little did I know what I was in for! Unfortunately my quilt had become a strait-jacket from which I could not hope to escape from.

It seems that of late hindi filmmakers have pretty much given up on using original stories written by Indian writers. I suppose the writers guild has become kutti with the film guild ... or perhaps with the public in general. Hindi filmmakers have realized that they have to do nothing more than blantantly get "inspired" by foreign cinema. They don't really have to do much. They pretty much copy ever scene from the other movie, mix in a few unnecessary song sequences, and introduce plot changing twists such as making one hero short instead of tall and the other moderately obese instead of obese.

The two heros in the movie are the muscled ape Salman Khan who for some reason bags every comedy in sight despite him being as funny as watching someone shoot themselves, and Govinda who looks like he has eaten everything in sight for the past two years. Movie reviews that I read later claim the movie is genuinely funny as long as you happen to leave your brain outside the door. I say that the only way you find this movie funny is if you trick someone else into watching the movie, make sure their eyes are open using toothpicks and handcuffing them to a seat so the only way they can escape is to chew through their arms (which could happen).

Salman Khan plays the role of will Smith as a Love Guru... only this love guru (judging by his facial expressions) looks like he has a few pine cones shoved up his ass. A bloated Govinda plays the adorable Kevin James who is desperately in love with a woman way out of his league. Unfortunately he whines so much that he is about as lovable as a nice prickly cactus. In real life even his dog would reject him. Katrina Kaif plays the unattainable socialite and is so plastic, that one may be forgiven for wondering how they managed to produce a life size Barbie doll . Lara Dutta who attempts to play Eva Mendes is just plain terrible. She has a son who is probably the only real actor in the real movie. The only comedy worth watching in the entire movie was provided by the genuinely funny Rajpal Yadav who spoofs SRK as Chotta Don. Unfortunately Chotta Don does not get much screen time.

Well long story short throughout the movie Salman goes through the painful process of trying to rid himself of the cones grimacing and flexing and going topless ... while trying to romance Lara Dutta. Govinda whines like a supporter of the BCCI cricket team throughout the movie as he tries to get Katrina to fall for him whilst everyone else in the movie (other than Rajpal Yadav) could have been replaced with cardboard cutouts.

As the movie progressed, I thanked god that I was wrapped tightly in my quilt for god forbid had my arms been free I may have busted my computer monitor. At the end of the movie I realized that I had started to cry... unbridled tears of happiness and sadness knowing that I had just wasted 2.5 hrs of my life that could have been better spent whacking myself on the head.

A tale of two movies

Although I had plenty to do this weekend, I still managed to eke out some time to watch a couple of movies. One I watched because I wouldn't have missed it for the world and the other is a demonstration of the crazy things a person is driven to do in desperation.

Watched the Bourne Ultimatum on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Dropped a friend off at the airport in the morning and did some odd end jobs until the matinee show aired. Got there a little late and was forced to watch the entire movie from the second row. But boy was the movie good!



A distinguishing feature of the Bourne franchise is that it goes for substance rather than gloss. There are no stupid witticisms, no unnecessary scenes, no gloss whatsoever. The movie is plain and unadulterated fun. It is so fast paced! And it never fails to make sense. The movie goes about its business with an air of someone who has too much to do with too little time. Our amnesiac protagonist flits between cities as often as a normal person may go to the pharmacy or the grocers. He matches his wits and muscle against bunch of government baddies and their lackeys for whom assassinating someone in broad daylight is child's play. Against impossible odds Bourne always succeeds at his objective... be it beating up a bunch of CIA agents or finding the secret offices of CIA operatives with nothing more than Google and a parchment of paper with an address on it.

Throughout the movie Bourne's actions and robot like efficiency of getting things done can only make you gasp in admiration. The action sequences throughout the movie are exquisitely directed each more spectacular than the other. Bourne's journey from Russia through Europe to New York gave me a major adrenaline rush. Despite the frenetic pace of the movie, there was never a point in time that I felt lost. Although the movie is said to be loosely relevant to the books the storyline is very tight. Every scene has a part to play in the movie. If you like action movies, or, fast paced thrillers, this is the movie for you.

Now for the second movie... Cash. As far as I am concerned ... the movie should be renamed Crap. My reaction to watching this movie can be summed up by the title of one of its songs. Rahem Kare! (Have mercy) Had I not had the option to forward through the movie, I may have gone into depression.

The only reason I watched the movie was because I liked the songs. They are peppy, fast songs that are awesome to listen to in the car or as a pick me up at the end of a long day. And well I wanted to see if the babe in the picture below happened to have any more scenes in the movie. Boy should I have resisted the temptation to watch this piece of crap!

Hindi movie makers have for long been churning out so called action movies that look more like sequences from Bad Video Games Gone Wild! Unfortunately from what I read all these movies are classified as blockbusters. If you like meaningless, over the top, stupid, cheesy dialogues topped off with action scenes that are poor rip-offs of English movies, then this is the movie for you! Some idiot had the bright idea of putting actors who speak English with an accent that would make a Mexican immigrant cringe into a bunch of uncoordinated action sequences that seem to involve every mode of transportation possible with the notable exception of a submarine and possibly a golf cart.

What was the movie about? There was something in there about some diamonds and how everyone in the movie handled them at one stage. However I noticed that the actors seemed more interested in delivering silly jokes that even their mothers would find difficult to laugh at. Everyone was involved in trying to look cool by wearing clothes and sporting hairstyles that they happened to be a few decades too old for.

In case you still haven't decided to watch Crap, here's something that may get you off your behind and into the theatre (to throw rotten eggs at the screen). The movie features Ritesh Deshmukh with a hairstyle that even the orangutans would be offended by, Zayed Khan trying to rap, Esha Deol in tiny clothes (WARNING: you may poke your eyes out watching this), Ajay Devgan in blond hair (talk about blacks on blonds!), and, the terrible Shettys (Sunil - I think he has given up on trying to make a decent movie - and Shamita) trying to act.

I was so happy when the movie ended I had half a mind to wake up my neighbours and treat them all! God forbid what I would have done had I actually paid money to watch this in a theatre! My puny mind shudders at the thought of having to actually sit through this in a theatre!